Soccer
by Sheriff of Nottingham
Summary: Sequel to 'Basketball'Funny stuff here.


**Disclaimer: Do we really need to do this every time? Yes? Oh well then I own nothing to do with Harry Potter.**

**Author's Note: This is a sequel to my other fic _'Basketball'._ You don't necessarily have to read them both but a few people asked me to write another one of these stories so I bowed down to their wishes. This is another one shot fic'.**

**Soccer**

"Hey Snape!" Sirius Black called.

"What do you want now?" Severus Snape snapped.

"It's time to _UNWIND_ again."

"What? Now? I can't. Unlike some, _I_ have work to do."

"No can do, Snape. Dumbledore's orders. You're not getting out of it if I can't!"

"I don't see why I have to _unwind_ with you. Or play another stupid muggle sport," Snape snapped.

"Yeah well. Tough toenails! Dumbledore put us together against my will!"

"Be warned, Black, this is totally against my will also. If I had my way, I wouldn't be within one hundred feet of you."

"That's not what you said when I was in your bed." Severus flushed with what everyone would assume was anger.

The Weasley Twins, who had nothing better to do than to listen in to everything, sniggered.

"In my guest bedroom," Snape said indignantly. He looked around for any signs of people listening in. The Twins, of course, were known for their subtlety and were not seen. "Although we all know that's not what you wanted."

"You offering me something again?" Sirius smirked.

"I never offered you before!"

"So you're saying you are now?"

"Just shut up, Black!" he snapped. "Let's just get this over with as soon as possible!"

So they left for a soccer pitch in a muggle area.

"I can't believe I'm stuck with these stupid shorts again. The basketball one's were bad enough!"

"But this time you get to wear a t- shirt instead of a vest," Sirius called. "More's the pity," he muttered under his breath.

"I suppose."

"Get ready for another beating, Snape!"

"No can do, Black. I rarely lose and I never lose twice in a row!"

"There's a first time for everything!"

Sirius ran onto the pitch with Severus right behind him. They kicked off and Severus soon scored a goal.

"Beginner's luck," Sirius growled.

"Whatever, Black."

They were playing for half an hour and Severus was winning 8- 4. Sirius was getting angry and decided that the best way to win was to play dirty. So he did.

Severus was headed to score another goal when he was tripped by Sirius. Sirius took the ball to the other end of the pitch while Severus rolled the wrong way. He had been running too fast to catch up when he fell. Sirius scored. "Iiii aaaaaaaam the chaaaaaaampiooooon. Iiii aaaaaaaam the chaaaaaaampiooooon," he danced.

Snape ran up and said "You're still behind, Black. 8- 5."

"Not for long."

"That, I believe, was a foul."

"What was?" Sirius asked innocently. He tapped the ball to Severus to keep going.

"You bloody well tripped me."

"Come on Snapey, you've no way to prove I fouled you!" He kicked the ball away from Severus again and left the centre of the pitch to score another goal.

Snape was fuming. "So that's the way you want to play?" he muttered. "Then let the games begin!" He ran at full speed towards Sirius and kicked him, took the ball and headed up to the other goal post. He scored again before Sirius realised what had happened.

"Hey, Sinvillus! That was cheating!" he shouted.

"Prove it!" Severus shot back.

An hour later Snape was still winning, 23- 19. Sirius was tailing Severus but couldn't get the ball off him. There wasn't a lot of time left so he had to stop Severus scoring again. He used the last resort - Sirius grabbed the waist line of Severus's short's and yanked them down. Severus got tangled in the shorts and fell over again. He tried to pull them back up but they had come entirily off. Severus blushed when Sirius whistled. He watched Sirius score while he pulled on his shorts quickly. Sirius came back for the kick off.

"That was low, even for you, Black!"

"But it was worth it!"

"For one goal?"

"No. For seeing you in your underwear!" Sirius laughed.

"Just play!"

"Right oh! You can kick off!"

"Okay."

Sirius got the ball away from Severus and headed up the other way. Severus cut him off. Sirius tried to get past him. The only way to do that was to knock him out of the way. When they were right up to each other Sirius tried to push Severus. Severus had other ideas, however. He wanted revenge for the whole shorts thing. He grabbed the waist line of Sirius's shorts and pulled them UP. He pulled with a force that made Sirius lift off the floor. Sirius fell to the floor and squirmed. He was still on the floor by the time Severus had scored and come back to him.

"That was bloody evil, Snape, even for you!"

"I was just returning the favour, Black."

"Remind me to never pull down your shorts again!"

"Like that will stop you dreaming about it!"

"You wish. Oh bloody hell it hurts! Help me, Snape!"

"What do you want me to do? Kiss it better?" Severus laughed. The time was up and he had won.

"I could consider that sexual harassment!"

"You wish! I wouldn't go near you and Mr. Doolittle there. Or should I call it ISlittle!"

"Yeah right. What are you? Severus and the Giant Peaches? Or is it Denney's Largest Sausages?"

"That about sum's it up!" Severus smirked.

Sirius choked. "Like I believe you!"

"Well you've been staring for long enough so maybe I'll show you some time."

"You offering again?" Sirius smiled.

"I told you - I never offered you before!"

"Your defensiveness only proves that you want me!" Sirius laughed.

"And that statement only proves me right when I said you are a complete moron!" Sirius tripped over a rock and his leg stuck out at an awkward angle.

"Give me a hand here. I think it's broken"

Severus pulled Sirius up. Sirius put his arm around the other man's shoulder for support. He couldn't stay standing and Severus made no attempt to hold him up.

"Oh come on. You could have helped me, Snape."

"You only asked me to help you up!" he shrugged his shoulders.

"Well help me out of this muggle area to the portkey."

"Fine!" Severus pulled him up again but this time he picked Sirius up and swung him over his shoulder.

"Not that I'm complaining but what are you doing?"

"I'm using the fastest means possible to get you to the portkey," Severus started running.

"Awww. How sweet."

"I'm doing it to get away from you sooner!"

When they arrived to the portkey Sirius spoke again. "If you really wanted to get rid of me then you would have left me there!"

"Albus would kill me!"

"Sure he would," Sirius said sarcastically. "You're his precious little boy!"

"Ha. Yeah right!"

"I'm serious. He treats you like a son!"

"Really?"

"Yup. Now what were you saying about you showing me Sir Thrill-alot?"

"Excuse me?"

Sirius looked down at Severus's crotch and back at his face.

"Oh!"

They touched the portkey and went to bed.

**I had a boyfriend who used to give his penis a different name every day. I told him to stop 'cause it was annoying but he didn't so I dumped him. He kept calling my new boyfriend 'Mr. Tiny' and in the end he dumped me. **

**Reviews?**


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